Is he dating me out of pity
This happens because the lines get blurred between ‘dating’ and a ‘relationship’ and we start building sandcastles in the sky and love and trust blindly even when there is real evidence to show that we should be rolling back.I get asked a lot of questions about dating but I felt the easiest way to start a series of posts addressing dating was to say: You need to go into dating with a reasonable level of trust and self-esteem.
You just don’t know enough about someone immediately or even in the first few dates to know whether they are on the same page as you with their intentions, although if you say you’re looking for a relationship and sex is the primary thing being pushed on their agenda for example, you can rest assured that no matter what they say about looking for a relationship, they’re looking to get laid.Some people date because they want to see what’s out there – a bit like experimenting.Some people date lots of people and treat it like a numbers game but don’t end up being close to anyone.If you enter at the beginning, jump straight into bed or sexual contact and decide you’re in a loving relationship before it is a loving relationship, you will miss vital clues and information that tell you whether it can be a loving relationship in the first place.The mistake that many people make in dating is assuming that because they find someone attractive, feel a chemistry with them, and share some common interests that it’s a match made in heaven because they make blind assumptions with these nuggets of information and correlate them to the rest of the person and assume they share the same values.Through the years I, like most of you, I’m sure, have found myself in those infamous and utterly maddening situations.
You meet, you hit it off, you get really excited because you’ve finally found a great guy, and after that…silence.
If you date someone and take the time to get to know them, you can work out whether you actually do want the same thing as opposed to saying that you do and something else resulting.
If you’re looking for a relationship and they’re looking for a relationship then you have a starting point.
It stands to reason that if the way that you have been dating isn’t working, to continue to repeat these behaviours would be relationship insanity. There is no fire – do due diligence and you will reap the rewards. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
When a guy doesn’t call – say it with me- he’s just not that into you… Well I firmly believed this for a while but now I’m gonna have to say that’s not always the case.
Once you’ve hit day 4 all hope dissipates and you must sadly accept the fact that you will never be hearing from him.